ADD Humor

You know you have ADD when….

  1. You can’t find your car keys or your spare set, and your partner is hesitant to lend you his keys because you will probably misplace those, too.  (And you agree!)
  2. You can’t see your alarm clock on the nightstand because of the stack of books you’re reading–all at the same time.
  3.  You buy another organizing system, to organize your last five organizing systems.
  4.  You find the remote control for the DVD player in the refrigerator.
  5. You can’t see over the piles of paper in your office.
  6. You forget what you are doing in the middle of taking a shower.
  7. You stop at a stop sign, sit there, and stare at the sign, waiting for it to turn green.
  8. Sneezing DISTRACTS you.
  9. While considering your answer to your boss’s question, you wonder what’s for dinner.
  10. The person sitting beside you grabs your attention, but so does the heating unit shutting on and off, the fluorescent light flickering above you, and a bird flying by the window.
  11. I’m sorry.  What was the question again?
  12. Going to the store takes at least three attempts.  First, you leave your shopping list behind.  Then, when you go back to get it, you put your keys down and arrive to the car with your list, but no keys. Usually, but not always, the third time’s a charm.
  13. You have enough money in the bank to pay bills, yet you simply forget to pay them!
  14. You’re talking on the phone and have a moment of panic where you ask, “where is my phone?”
  15. You lose something you need…and you haven’t moved from your seat.
  16. You wonder about the weird sound “everyone else’s car” is making, only to realize 15 minutes down the street, that you’ve been driving with your parking break on!
  17. You dial a number, but the time someone answers, you forget who you are calling.
  18. You realize you have five years’ worth of holiday and birthday cards nicely printed, stuffed, addressed, and never mailed!
  19. Your partner asks you for a glass of water and you go and make a peanut butter sandwich for yourself.
  20. You spend almost an hour looking for your favorite watch, give up, and decide to wear another one, only to find that the battery has been dead all day and you’ve used it to tell time already.
  21. You start washing the dishes…and find something that belongs in the office.  You go to the office to put it away, sit down to check your e-mail, go on Facebook instead, decide to write a poem, and several hours later, realize that you left the dishes in a cold sink of water.
  22. You leave with enough time to show up early for your ADD doctor’s appointment, but are thinking of other things and go into auto-pilot, and drive to work instead…..and end up late.
  23. Your daily planner is YOUR LIFE!
  24. You lose your child in your own house.
Can you relate to any of these?                                                Top of Page